


The Sensational, Inspirational, Celebrational, Muppetational Babysitting Show

by jadelennox



Category: A-Babies Vs. X-Babies, Muppet Babies, The Muppet Show
Genre: Gen, i'm not even sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 21:58:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1099043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadelennox/pseuds/jadelennox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's real popular with the retro crowd on tumblr," said Scooter, helplessly. "We should consider ourselves lucky they aren't insisting on going with the anonymous suggestion for <i>The Real Chickens of the Muppet Show</i>."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sensational, Inspirational, Celebrational, Muppetational Babysitting Show

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Amy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amy/gifts).



> I planned this crossover for your prompt _before_ I realized [it's basically canon](http://media.comicbookmovie.com/images/users/uploads/10300/prv13962_pg4.jpg). Oh, Skottie Young and Gurihiru. ♥
> 
> This is a treat.

"Kermit, Kermit!" Scooter ran into the writer's room. "They've greenlit the revival of _Muppet Babies_. They want scripts and casting by Thursday!"

Kermit groaned and banged his head on the table. "Everybody hates writing for _Muppet Babies_. Piggy thinks it's about shaming us for growing older, Animal's offended by the dialogue he gets, and if Janice starts up again about not writing any girls--"

Janice poked her head around the doorway. "Like, Kermit, it may be artistic or whatever, but media representation matters for little kids, okay?" Then she wandered off, strumming "Sheena is a Punk Rocker" on her guitar.

Kermit looked up. "See what I mean?"

"It's real popular with the retro crowd on tumblr," said Scooter, helplessly. "We should consider ourselves lucky they aren't insisting on going with the anonymous suggestion for _The Real Chickens of the Muppet Show_."

"That was Statler." Rowlf walked into the room with a pile of scripts. "He got in a fight with Piggy about it. She wanted _The M Factor_."

Miss Piggy harumphed. "Simon Cowell was uninterested until he was convinced by _moi_. I still think it is an excellent idea."

"Anyway," said Scooter, handing Kermit a clipboard. "I've rounded up most of the voice actors; we're checking availability with their agents. We think we can get the same actress who played Nanny, at least."

"I liked her," said Rowlf, amiably.

"Ms. Billingsley's on her way in now, but because the notice was so short, she's got her son with her. I told her it would be okay?" Scooter looked earnestly at Kermit.

Kermit sighed. He was glad to be mentoring Scooter but the lesson _it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission_ was an annoying one for him to have learned. "Sure, bring her in. Check if Sweetums can to babysit while we talk."

"Already did, boss!"

Kermit scrunched his mouth at Scooter, who ducked his head and shrugged. "Fine," said Kermit. "Moving on. We'll need new talent. Retro fandom aside, we still need to bring in someone modern for the kids."

Piggy banged her fist on the table. "No Baby Link Hogthob or I will _end_ you, Kermie."

It was going to be a long afternoon.

* * *

Sweetums was having the _best time_.

"I'd usually be hangin' out with my friends," Steve had said. "But Mom had to come in for this interview an' she didn't have time to get a sitter. Can they come over? You'll like 'em!"

And Sweetums didn't see the harm. Steve had yelled his battle cry -- That was great! Sweetums needed a battle cry. "Wait for me, you guys," didn't really have that battle cry ring to it. -- and now the Studio was crowded with all these great little kids. There were Natasha and Bucky Bear, who were currently creaming Robin and Camilla at Super Soaker tag. The funny purple kid, Clint, was showing Beauregard how to use a bow and arrow ("Usually people shoot these at me," Beauregard had explained. His look of glee when he got to put an apple on Fozzie's head instead of the other way around was pretty awesome). Wanda, the girl in the footie PJs, was explaining earnestly to Gonzo that she had _obviously_ created both him and _The Muppet Show_. Only elemental chaos magic could explain either of them, she said.

But Sweetums' favorite of these awesome little kids was Hulk. He was just so smart and friendly, and he really understood what it was like to be, well, big.

Maybe it was unprofessional when babysitting to tell the babysittees you liked them, but he though Hulk would understand. "You and your friends are so cool!"

"HULK GLAD."

The kid's grin was just so greenly happy.

Maybe it had gotten a _little_ loud backstage. The chickens were squawking at Clint and Beauregard taking potshots; it was irritation at Beauregard and a little coquettish at Clint. Gonzo and Wanda had challenged each other to a contest to see who could reach the greater height of chaos. Currently Gonzo was in the lead, since he'd just blown three exploding watermelons out of a trumpet. Hulk was earnestly telling Sweetums about someone he knew named "Bruce."

So it wasn't a surprise that none of them heard Kermit until he lost his temper.

" _What is going on here?"_

Sweetums was always so impressed with the way Kermit could flail his arms when he was really angry. He was so distracted that it took him a few seconds to realize why Kermit was glaring at him. Oh! He was the Responsible Adult! Shoot.

Before he could say anything, Robin ran forward, dragging Bucky Bear by one paw. Bucky Bear held firmly onto Natasha with his other paw. "Uncle Kermit!" called Robin.

"Not now, Robin."

"This is important, Uncle Kermit!"

Kermit crossed his arms. "Fine. What?"

"Scooter told me you need a new Muppet Baby."

"Scooter talks too much. Also, how is that important?"

Sweetums sort of agreed.

Robin pulled Bucky Bear forward. "Uncle Kermit, this is Steve's friend Bucky Bear! He'd be a great Muppet baby."

Natasha frowned. "He's a great Avenger. He can't be a Muppet Baby; he's not a Muppet."

"He could so be a Muppet Baby if he wanted to be," yelled Steve.

"Whose side are you on, Steve?" Natasha bopped him with a water pistol.

"I'm just saying," pouted Steve. "Bucky Bear can be anything he wants to be!"

"Yeah? Well he _wants_ to be an Avenger!"

"Could you be quiet?" Kermit held out his hand for Bucky Bear's paw. "He's not a Muppet, but that could be the hook. Muppet Baby Avengers, or something."

"I think you'll find," said a new voice Sweetums hadn't heard before. "That the name Avengers is trademarked, and Bucky Bear has commitments. But we can come to an arrangement." An imposing baby with a black trenchcoat and starry eyepatch strode into Muppet Studios.

"If he wants to," insisted Natasha.

"If he wants to."

* * *

_Muppet Baby Avengers, we make our dreams come true_   
_Muppet Baby Avengers, we'll fight X-Babies, too_

_Piggy: When your world looks kinda weird and you wish that you weren't there_   
_Steve: Just call out an Assemble and we will all be near_   
_Kermit: I like adventure_   
_Natasha: I like to dance_   
_Janice: I like to make music_   
_Wanda: I affect chance!_   
_Animal: Animal drumming_   
_Hulk: HULK SMASH_   
_Fozzie: I'm good at humming_   
_Rowlf: I play with flash_   
_All:And this is Bucky Bear_   
_He fights so good_   
_We're the Muppet Baby Avengers_   
_Nicky: And we'll kick your butt._


End file.
